Chip Tunes and Pixels and Synths...oh cliche!

I really want to write music. I want to perform music. I want to be on stage, while people sing along. The problem is this: I may have a decent voice, but I can't really play guitar.

I suppose I could add the qualifier 'yet' at the end there. I am definitely trying my hardest to learn to play the bloody six-string, but the combination of a lack of free time, a critically divided attention span, and no teacher are uniting against me. I know that's a poor excuse but it's certainly the way I feel, and blaming others for our own shortcomings is certainly the American way.

So how can I make my musical dream easier? Well, I'm writing about the musical prowess of others to start. I have my first interview with a band for a fairly major music publication lined up later this month, and hopefully that will open the door to ask 'what kind of equipment do you prefer?' to more bands in the future. I'm a decent writer, and I can come up with some intriguing questions to ask folks, so hopefully that will help.

I'm also becoming fascinated with the world of chiptunes lately. If you're not familiar, think of all the old Nintendo/Game Boy/Super NES songs you had back in the day, and you're basically there. These bands create music using hacked video game systems, and a lot of it is just as badass and epic as the Mega Man soundtrack was the first time you played that through. I have a nifty little piece of software for my DS that emulates an old school synth. I'm learning slowly on that as well, building up some weird crap, before tearing it all down in a blur of pissed off knob twirling and level adjustment.

Overall, I think I'm just going to stick with the guitar, and maybe get my saxophone out of the closet as well. I am motivated, and my callouses are getting larger on my finger tips. It's satisfying, and who knows? In a few years, it may all pay off and I'll be asking myself all about my equipment.

Homegrown Nutbags

It's interesting to see how many crazy assholes Michigan seems to produce. We currently have our lovely Attorney General Michael Cox, who decided that he should join the lawsuit against healthcare reform. I gave his office a call today, letting them know I don't think our taxes should be wasted on frivolous lawsuits and that I'd rather our money go to important stuff like, oh I don't know, healthcare?! Anyway, I got a 'You're criticism has been noted. Thank you.' and was hung up upon.

On a whole different level of crazy asshole are these guys.

Wow. I just don't even know what to say. The sad thing is is that these guys probably think they're doing God's work and promoting the peaceful ideals that Jesus stood for. I bet he'd disagree. This leads directly to my problems with organized religion: there are far too many bad things at odds with the good things that they do.

Piece of notebook paper found behind the couch

...in the northwest corner of the room. I found it sitting there, and it didn't seem threatening, the way Katie had talked about it. When I looked it up online, and compared the number of legs, Wikipedia said that it wasn't poisonous.
So we have one living here. So what? They eat bugs, and as long as we keep an eye on it, make sure nothing shows up in the baby's room, I think we'll be good to go. It's weird though.
I was comparing the markings. From a safe distance of course, since I am nervous about the things, no matter what I might tell Katie. It doesn't really work out. It's not the common house variety, at least not the US kind. Might be something from the Andamans, wherever the hell....

Healthy Lights-Out

I know next to nothing about the health care bill.

I'm a little ashamed to admit this. I'm a fairly politically astute guy usually. And yep, I'm progressive, so I should be trumpeting this right? Well, I just don't know enough about it.

I do know there isn't a public option, which I think honestly is kind of bullshit. There may be more regulation of the insurance companies but I think (?) we still can't buy health care across state lines so we're forced to shop a fairly limited market. However, employers are required to provide care so that's good right?

I don't really know.

I'll be doing some research on this, but it's irritating that most of the coverage of this up to this point has been about the two sides on the issue, and not on how it affects the every-day American. Dumb.

Now, as for something I do know about and support fully, this coming Saturday, March 27th, is Earth Hour. From 8:30 to 9:30, you should turn off your non-essential lights and other electronics. Let the energy companies know how you feel about global warming.

I do confess myself confused as to why this should just be one day. Why not do it every Saturday for a month? One hour a day is not long. You can do an amazing amount in the dark: play guitar, write a letter by candlelight, relax with family, meditate, or have sex. All things that are fun, and all things that you can do just fine in the dark.

So make sure to turn stuff off this Saturday. You'd be amazed how much extraneous crap the average household has plugged in and drawing electricity at any one time. I've reduced my electric bill a ridiculous amount by just having one (or none) lights on at a time when I'm at home.

So stand up for what you believe in. Help the world survive just a little bit longer, one outlet at a time.

Cathartic

Hey did you drop this?

You turn around and someone is standing there, and in her hand is your hope.

No, I didn't, I'm sorry, you must be mistaken. That's clearly not mine. Mine would be in much better condition, not so red and blotchy. The umbilical on mine is much cleaner, gone in fact, dropped off years ago, perfect round belly button now. You stumble into silence.

She looks at you, confused. But I'm pretty sure I saw you drop this. Are you sure this isn't yours? You don't want to walk around without it.

I look at her side. Her hope is there, covered in white fur and hiding behind her dress. It peeks out at you, it's big blue eyes just begging, wanting you to say hello, to keep the conversation up. It looks so much more healthy than the scabrous thing she's trying to hand you.

I don't think it's mine, you say. Let me look though just to be sure. You lean in, and your hope smiles up at you. It loves you no matter what, but it's rotten mouth, dead animal breath, they disgust you. Green gathers in the corners of its eyes, and its ribs shine through the diaper that you tied around it this morning.

She looks at you, while you stare, and when you glance up, you can see the pity in her eyes. She knows it's your hope, and she pities both of you. She wants you to take it, but at the same time, she can see how it's been abused. She is wondering, even now, if it would be better if you just let it die off.

Oh goodness, you say, I'm sorry, this is mine after all. Thanks for picking it up for me.

It's not a problem, she says, and smiles, a bright flash of morning dew, a shining peaceful glance at you and your hope, and then she takes her hope's hand and walks away.

You stand there, you and your hope, and as you take it's hand, you notice that the rotten, putrescent umbilical, stuck on for years, has shriveled and dropped.

Minionettes

I work in music retail in an independent bookstore. I'm pretty good with music, familiar with various artists, but there are still days that I feel like 'Old Man Lincoln.' It's not because of the type of music being produced these days (though I do express incredulity at the existence of crap like 'Brokencyde' or 'Hollywood Undead'), but mostly because of the flippant attitude with which physical media is treated by people.

Primarily, these people are teenagers. They're the ones who come into the store expecting instant gratification in everything. I'll often be shelving in the music section and here someone express the thought that an artist not being available in our listening stations "is bullshit." They then proceed to put the cd wherever they like and continue swearing loudly in public, a fact that bothers me as we're a family store and children are often around.

These are likely the same folks behind the increases in stolen media I've seen recently. The internet has devalued music, telling us that if we look and we're sneaky enough we can find what we want for little to no cost. So people have begun applying this same ethos to stores, finding creative ways to steal DVDs and CDs, hiding the wrappers where they're unlikely to be found, and in some cases figuring out how to remove DVDs that have been put in anti-theft keepers. I'm not implying that shoplifting is something new, but that the age of instant gratification has made it a more attractive option to more people.

However, sometimes it's ok to be 'the old guy.' I think that the music industry is doing a good job of combatting the internet and appealing to my demographic. The resurgence of vinyl and an increase in the number of stores that are carrying it are pushing back against big box stores like Best Buy by filling a niche they can't. Oftentimes vinyl will contain a code to download a digital version of the album. Also, labels have become smarter with their normal releases, making them cheaper and making deluxe editions more attractive, with cheaper pricing and extras that you can't get anywhere else (the recent Gorillaz album comes to mind.) A great comparison I noticed recently is that two very similar bands, Flogging Molly and The Dropkick Murphys, both released live albums. Flogging Molly only released one version, a set including a CD and DVD for 16.99, while The Murphys released two, a CD only retailing at 13.99 and a CD/DVD set for 18.99. While there might not seem to be a significant difference, Flogging Molly making what is basically a 'deluxe' edition for a cheaper price makes it seem a more attractive purchase.

So while teenagers may be assholes, and may have no qualms about stealing their music, I think that the industry is going to be ok. There are a lot of audiophiles out there like myself who own big stacks of cds, who lust after deluxe editions, and who even enjoy the puzzlefuck that it is to get through the shrink wrap into a new album. After all, instant gratification may be instant, but it's just not as much fun.

Everything that is wrong with America

Two things: How is this news? And how is this woman's mind working?

Woman aiming to be World's fattest.

Ok, so I admire her positivity. She has good body image, and she has a great mental outlook. But seriously. While her daughter is only 3 years old right now, she is already learning from her mom that it's ok to stuff yourself and become a blob that "can only move 20 feet on her own" as long as you do it for money and fame. I can only hope they enroll that kid in sports at a young age instead of something like pie-eating contests.

Our society is pretty messed up.

March Manifesto

So I am competently terrible at updating this blog with any regularity. I apologize. However, I realize, as the proprietor of this blog, I'm not obligated to answer to you and really should not have just apologized. You don't pay me, and in reality, I'm just doing this for the love of writing.

Which is confusing, really. I find that writing and writers are under a lot of pressure. I look through the writing magazines at work, and see photographs of workshops, interviews with famous folks and think to myself, "Really? You can get famous doing this? You can go to workshops filled with other people who love this too?" and then I think "But are they pretentious?"

Pretentiousness is something I cannot stand and unfortunately, in my line of work, it is something that I have to deal with constantly. I may stand and listen to other writers say that they got in four hours of writing the day before, and I'll nod and pretend to understand, but really, I'm just wondering why the fuck I care, and why the hell it matters? I go for weeks at a time without writing down a single word, and they're bragging about how much they did in one day? Talk like that makes it seem like a chore. You should be writing because you want to be, because you love sitting down, staring at a page filled with words and thinking "I did that." Putting a value, a number on writing makes it something to be dreaded. And I'm not too keen on dreading my love.

That was a bit more verbose and slightly silly than I intended, but I stand by it. That's why I've never been into things like NANOWRIMO. Forcing it, if you'll pardon the crude metaphor, is like forcing a bowel movement. It'll cause you more pain than good, and you'll be nervous next time.

Wow, that was really fucking gross. This time, my apologies are sincere.